I Have a Dream

Have you ever had a dream? One that filled you with such joy that the very thought of fulfilling it consumed your every waking thought?

had-a-dream

Every dream doesn’t just happen, sadly. I wish there was a magic wand that granted every thing I wanted and “poof” instant success. However, my fairy godmother is either taking her sweet time, stuck in traffic, or there truly are no mystical wish granting-midnight striking-ballgown granting-prince giving-fairy godmothers. Sigh.

My dream of becoming a published author began over 20 years ago. Shocking, I know. I must have been a toddler when this dream began, right? Okay, maybe just slightly older. Anyway, I had dreams and I dreamed big. A little over 20 years ago I was young, er-younger, working the best job in the world (in a bookstore) and still at a time in my life where I had little to no responsibilities. Not only was I beginning my journey of how to become a writer, but I was also engrossing myself in the authors who were already paving the path of what I wanted to write. You see while working at the bookstore I had my pulse on what has happening in the romance literary world. Reading everything I could get my hands on, I had instant access to magazines such as RWA, which I always read on my breaks, I was able to buy books at a deep discount, which I took great advantage of, and I stocked my home bookshelves with guides on how to research, write, and publish my finished manuscripts. It was pure heaven.

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Yes, I still own everything I ever bought all those years ago. This is just a small sample of my vast dreaming library. I wonder if any of those publishing addresses still work? I also wonder if anyone actually get’s “Happily” published? Hmmmm.

Anyway, it wasn’t long into my young and foolish youth that responsibilities came home to live and dreams had to be shelved. No longer was I able to spend all my earnings on books or spend all my free time on dreaming. A home, a job, and a family took precedence over living a fictional life.

i-had-a-dream

For the past 20 years my dream would peak out and remind me that it was unfinished. All the books that I had packed away when responsibility took precedence would resurface and the itch would instantly return. I would try to write during quiet times, which were sometimes few and far between. I would research late at night when my kids were sleeping and before I had to sleep and go to work the next day. Somehow, my dream refused to die.

go-live-your-dreamHowever, with each manuscript time passed and with each story idea more time passed until eventually fear settled in to the point that I haven’t picked up those helpful books I purchased 20 years ago in a very long time.

fear-of-dreams

I’ve focused on raising a family, my job, and so many other things that all the dreams I had so long ago I now face with fear. I dreamed big for so long and even though I’m finally at a point in my life where I have time to focus energy on those dreams I’m completely full of fear. What if I completely fail and everything I ever wanted to achieve never happens? What if I completely suck and then what?

I know that fear is the killer of dreams more than jumping in with both feet and just trying.

It hasn’t been until the past couple years that I even created a writing space and completely unpacked all of those old and outdated resources knowing I’d be forced to face my dreams every time I sat in that space. I find I’m very good at avoiding this spot when I want. Dreams are scary.

Now you should ask, why did I write this and why are there so many Disney or more appropriately Rapunzel themed pictures?

I have a very good answer.

Walt Disney was a man who didn’t let anyone stand in the way of his dreams. He is the ultimate dreamer and Rapunzel was a girl locked away in a tower who was full of dreams, it was all she had until Eugene came and rescued her. She also rescued him from his thieving ways and pretty much from running from his past. I love how Disney portray’s women in their films. The damsel is never a true damsel in distress, it gives young girls so much to look up to besides just looking beautiful awaiting their prince in a tower.

Anyway, Rapunzel had a dream that consumed her every waking thought and she didn’t let anything stand in her way of fulfilling it. No matter what obstacle came in her way she was bound and determined to see it to completion.  Thank you Rapunzel and Disney for reminding me that I can do this. I can’t let fear rule my life.

never-too-old-to-dream

This is also important, especially considering just a few years have passed and I’m no longer 20 years old.

Keep Reading. Keep Writing. Keep Dreaming.

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Published by

K

Aspiring author

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