We gave up on forever and I’d give anything for another shot at love.
Goodbye Note, an all-new emotional, angst-filled, friends to lovers, secret relationship, M/M romance from bestselling author J.R. Gray is now available!
I’m living the dream, playing summer festivals to massive crowds.
My band is on fire, my best friend by my side and we’re on top of the world.
I fell for him in the heat of the summer. I fell for the stars in his eyes.
The way he said my name. I’ll never love anyone the same.
But our story ended when it was just beginning.
Fame gave me more than I could ever imagine, but I’ll forever suffer the cost.
The summer of love and loss would forever be a stain on my heart.
I used to think life didn’t come with second chances or do overs, until we’re reunited for a world tour as dual headliners.
Only he thinks I’m happily married, when in reality, my life is crumbling. My team won’t let me announce my divorce, leaving him to believe I’m happily married.
We gave up on forever and I’d give anything for another shot at love.
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Varian St. James. Only a villain had a name like that. Or a rock star. Everyone in this room would recognize him immediately. He was even more beautiful and harsh in person, which said something because the guy had a helluva stage presence and a reputation as a cold dick.
Why was he even here? His band Dopamine-Fiend was everything mine aspired to be. They’d just come off a massive tour with Death Nostalgia, and the rumor was that they were working on another album and an arena tour.
“You don’t have to—” he started when I didn’t say anything.
I shook my head before I found my voice, not letting him finish. “No—I take making amends very seriously. A drink is the least I can do.”
His lips curled, pulling at the unnaturally white skin of the scar, revealing the signature crooked smile he’d had since he was a child. His parents were famous musicians, and he grew up in the spotlight.
Rumors said it happened at a party thrown by his parents, when he was six years old. A party he had no place being at, but no one knew the details of when or where it happened because it had been covered up and he hadn’t been seen in public for years after.
“What do you fancy?” he asked, leveling me in a stare.
“Anything.”
He tilted his head. “Not too young to drink, are you?”
“I’m twenty-one.”
“A baby.”
I scoffed. “Only a couple of years younger than you, I bet.”
“Three, but every year in this industry ages you ten, so you’re a sweet summer child compared to my ancient ass.” He winked.
“Does that make you, like, two hundred and fifty? Are you a vampire or something?”
“Why? Want me to suck your blood?” The amusement reached his eyes this time.
“I’m not saying no…”
He shook his head, full of amusement or so I hoped, and nodded for me to follow him. A few people tried to stop Varian but he begged them off with a finesse that wasn’t rude and left them wanting more. He had to be expert at this networking game, so why had he been hiding in the corner?
I’d heard he hated being the center of attention, but would anyone really choose this life if they hated every part of it? I found it draining but exhilarating when I wasn’t hating myself; I enjoyed all the parts that came with it. I loved people consuming my art. Fans dancing in the crowd, screaming lyrics at the top of their lungs. The attention. The traveling, though we hadn’t done much of that yet.
The bartender stopped in his tracks, starstruck. I leaned on the polished wood top, observing the interaction. He gushed over Varian for a minute before asking for his order.
“Jack and coke.” He looked at me.
“Same.”
The bartender did a double take. “This is your album, right?” He pointed at the ceiling.
“That’s right.”
“Cheers. It’s damn good. You two friends?” he asked as he made our drinks.
Varian glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. “I think so. I’ll get back to you after the ritual.”
“Ritual?” I asked with half a laugh. “Is there a blood vow, too?”
Varian leaned in. “Only if you insist.”
“Then I insist,” I said before I considered the meaning or implication. My chest stirred.
“I thought I was a vampire. Am I a witch now?”
“Can’t you be both? Let’s keep it kinky.”
His lips pulled against the unevenness from his scar as he smiled. “I think this friendship is going swimmingly, don’t you?” he asked the bartender as he accepted the drink.
The bartender laughed, smiling at Varian like he put the stars in the sky. “If you want a third wheel…”
“I’ll let you know,” Varian said before glancing around.
“Who do you have left to talk to?”
I brought my drink to my lips, running through all the faces and names. “I lost track. It’s getting late.” I didn’t want to go schmooze anyone else. I wanted to be here with Varian.
“Would you want to go find someplace more quiet? The lights are starting to give me a migraine.” The glint in his almost black eyes looked hopeful.
“Where?”
He resumed his scan of the room and then turned on me. “I’m kidnapping you.”
“Isn’t it kinda against the point to tell me?”
“Right.” He snapped. “Good point.” He slapped his hand on the bar. “If I give you a twenty, would you slip me that bottle?”
“Hey, it’s a free bar.” The bartender weighed it, then set the mostly full bottle on the counter. “If you take it, I saw nothing.”
Varian took out his wallet and stuffed a twenty into the tip jar before swiping it. “Come on.”
I followed him toward the back of the joint and out the doors into the crisp February night. “We’re leaving?”
“We can’t talk in there. I can’t even think with the lights and the music.” He closed his eyes and tipped his head back, inhaling deeply.
Maybe it was the worst idea to leave my own party, but Varian drew me in. I wanted more.
“So, to gain clarity, we’ll freeze to death?” I pulled my jacket tighter.
“Always a tradeoff.” He walked toward the lake, and because I clearly had no sense of self preservation, I followed. “But it will be worth it.”
“Is this the blood ritual or the secret friendship stuff?” I shoved my hands into my pockets.
“It can be both.”
I laughed. “You’re not going to sacrifice me, are you?”
“Only if you ask nicely.” He shot me a glance.
“Please, Varian, please.”
He groaned and shook his head, lips twisting into a smirk. “Don’t tempt me! We don’t know each other well enough for me to reveal my kinks to you yet.”
“Yet? You say that like there will be more.”
Varian stopped and assessed my figure. “So much more. But we have to get to know each other first.”
The idea was intoxicating.
“Then let’s get to know each other.”
For more information about J.R. Gray and her books, visit her website: https://www.jrgraybooks.com
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