Bleeding Chaos; Love and Lyrics #4
(#4 within a series)
Publication Date: March 23, 2023
Genre/Tropes: New Adult/Rockstar/Second Chance/Secret Baby Romance
Author: Nikki Ash
Review Rating: 5 Gold Stars
Every once and while I read a book that touches my soul so hard it leaks out of my eyes for hours and hours. Bleeding Chaos is one of those books. It’s a very emotional, beautifully written, second chance romance that I couldn’t put down.
I knew that going into Gages book that his story would dig into old wounds that might be a little uncomfortable. However, Nikki wrote a story that is both emotionally realistic, but still very touching that even my emotional triggers were wrapped in a warm blanket of soothing calm.
While Gage has his own story of loss and addiction, the FMC, Sadie does as well. While Gage has been digging himself deeper into addiction since he lost his girlfriend six years ago, it’s upon a visit to her tombstone, that he comes across a woman who is lost in her own grief. Sadie is this woman who is drowning in her own grief and Gage notices a familiar soul even through his drug-fog. They are able to comfort one another without really getting close because of this empty feeling inside, but it’s also not helping, if that makes sense. Gage is still an addict and Sadie is still avoiding her life. To say the rest is history is to belittle what happens, because sooooo much happens, but I’ll just say, it’s emotional, and heartbreaking and yet also inspiring.
What I will say is…addiction is hard. Period. But, I loved how Nikki not only tackled the downslide of addiction, as it doesn’t happen instantly and for those stuck in the sycle there is a mental health aspect in both staying in the downward spiral and also involved in getting better, plus it also doesn’t happen overnight. So many books jump the gun in fictionalizing the aspect that love cures you and while I agree that having a strong foundation of loved ones supporting you goes a long way towards recovery, it’s not the cure. Once Gage is getting help he is very aware that he was using for years and his recovery will continue for years to come, if not the rest of his life, but he is also aware that he is the only one who can fix himself and without getting help he is also the one who can falter again. His message was very powerful and so very strong, hence the soulful tears.
Sadie is a fierce powerhouse. Her life is torn apart over and over again, but she continually pulls up her bootstraps and puts herself back together. Her ability to forgive, love, and pick up the pieces of her life is amazing and I never once thought bad of her for the decisions she made regarding how she had to guard her feelings. It takes a good foundation to keep moving forward and without her huge heart I’m not sure Gage could have done as well as he did, especially with his job, so I did like her.
This whole book brought me to tears over and over, as Gage reminds me of someone very special and Nikki did his story justice. As much as it shocks me, considering this entire series has been fantastic, I do believe this is my favorite story of the series.
I lost my first love. This time, I’m going to win the second girl who owns my heart—no matter the stakes.
Being the drummer for Raging Chaos is the only thing that’s kept me going for the past six years. Even the music isn’t enough to drown out the guilt that’s been suffocating me since what happened to Tori.
When Sadie storms into my life, ripping through my trepidations, sorrows, and bitterness, I can’t help but wonder if she could be my second chance.
I could love her, but in order to do that, I have to stop hating myself first.
Easier said than done. Before I have the chance to mend this broken heart, I push Sadie away and hit rock bottom.
The next time I see her, she has a baby. And if that’s not hurtful enough, it’s not just any baby.
It’s my baby.
Bleeding hearts can still beat. I’m living proof of that.
At first, Gage was just someone to take away the pain—until I realized he was battling demons of his own.
I never meant to get too close to the devil with the drumsticks, but once I did, he shoved me out of his life with a force.
My heart might be cracked, but his is completely broken. And trying to save him would destroy us both.
So, I do the right thing and I walk away—not only to protect me but also our unborn baby.
I had no idea who Gage was to the world when I slipped into his bed. Now that I’m out of it, it’s clear he’ll have to clean up his act before he’s father material.
But then we meet again, and I’m reminded of the man he could be.
The man he was born to be, before tragedy struck and the chaos left his heart barely beating.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Like real life, the characters are far from perfect, make morally gray decisions, and deal with subjects that may be sensitive for some readers. If you are looking for a safe romance, this series is not for you. Trigger warnings (which contain spoilers) can be found on my website.
Find more of my reviews on Amazon under Kayreader
on Goodreads under Kay Daniels Romance
At Bookbub under Kayreader
or you can follow me on Facebook at Kay Daniels Romance